I have seen the "Post Marriage Support" reference in a few posts but I don't seem to be able to actually locate it. Tried search and all three of the terms were rated as too common. Where is "Post Marriage Support" thread found please?

Hi there......

viewtopic.php?f=16&t=860

it is a sticky!

Hi Wiz,

Thanks for the link but I am not sure that is the article/post I was looking for. The link you directed me to was all about marriage in Russia. The link that I saw referenced earlier was "Post Marriage Support" and the reference implied that it was a guide on things the man could do to help his new Russian bride be more comfortable in her new nest (non-Russian home).

I would appreciate any link to such a desirable tool.

Hi

Not sure which post you are asking ... getting old now....

take a look at this one.:

http://russianworldforums.com/viewtopic.php?f=17&t=36&hilit=cultural+shock

and also on this one:

viewtopic.php?f=17&t=17

I am not sure what the other posts say but I think the main thing is to not neglect her. I have seen guys bring a woman over and then work 12 hours a day 7 days a week and spend little time with her. Take some time off if possible for the first week or two and give her lots of attention.

Next, I would say to follow her lead. One thing that is good is to get her in some English classes and there are free English as a second language classes most places. One of the pluses of this is that it may help her make some new friends. However don't push the friendship issue. See what she wants. Most are more comfortable once they meet a few other Russian speaking friends but there are some bad ones out there who will be a bad influence so let her decide who she wants for friends. Sometimes meeting the first one or two is the difficult part and once they meet a few that will let them meet more.

Ask if she wants Russian TV. Most cable companies have a few channels of Russian TV available. My wife wanted to be immersed in English and did not want them but many women do. Of course the internet has a lot of Russian programming as well.

Many areas have one or more Russian grocers and that can help her get food she likes that are things that are hard to find here.

Those are the things that are popping into my mind at the moment.

Hi Steven and welcome to the Board

I have been following your posts and as you can see, Turboguy, is the right person to give you the best advice, with his huge experience on this subject.

I agree wih Turbo that it would be best for her to enrol to some Language free program.... which apart from her improving the language skills... will help with your relationship, not many misunderstandings, and also will give her confidence. Remember she will be starting from Zero .... and it will take time to adjust to her new life.

I would also suggest to avoid political conversation, at this stage and avoid criticising Russia. Play neutral.... if you can. Naturally Russian women are very protective of their country, conditioned from the local propaganda, to blame USA for everything. Soon she will learn to view things from another angle and the neutral position by you... will help your relationship.

All I have to say... is patience and you need plenty of it!

Every woman is different. Just don't push your agenda. For the first few weeks, my wife and I, just got to know each other better. Took some trips around various towns and some trips to the big city, London. A lot of walking and relaxing.

As she became more acclimated, we started to do some shopping together, then we gradually got into the money talks. Most Russian women are frugal and that was it. Just in case she wanted to buy some fruit on the way home from school, she always had enough, including a mobile phone for safety. Everyone is different.

Good luck

Hi Steven

Turbo is a gold mine when it come to Russian women and his experience with them.

Don't forget the Skype connection..... make sure it works in both ends before she comes..........very important!

Now that you heard many good suggestions take a sit, relax and get ready.

When she comes..... she will take care of everything......she will build her own nest ....... and be sure that she will learn fast, where to find to buy the best cheapest stuff!

Don't forget to have plenty of sweets (confeti) for her tea!

Finally I just remembered what an old timer in another board, "groovisk", said many moons ago: (do you remember him Turbo?)

"I had patience, rivers of patience, ocean of patience and still fell short......"

Mrs Wiz and I, we're coming up on 8 years and that statement still applies from time to time, although my perspective is broad enough now to understand that my wife can lay claim to the very same words.

In retrospect, I remember now, much of the work I did to prepare for my wife's arrival (cleaning, fixing, researching) were more or less irrelevant, but served to keep me busy and occupied and, most importantly, gave me reassurance that I was doing everything within my power to make things as easy as possible for us (not her or not me, but us).

The most important elements to have are love and patience - without either of these, you can pave the street from the airport to your home with gold and things will still turn sour pretty quickly.

Good luck.



PS: While I was typing I saw Lucky posting ....... looks that he has the day off!
Long time no see..... Lucky! I expect you're take it easy now and we may see you more often.

Hi wiz

Yes I take it easy now... and she is out of the country for a few days.

When I have free time, I always keep an eye.

Yes, Wiz, I definitely remember Groov. In my case I can't say it required a lot of patience. The only part that did was teaching her to drive. I am a pretty patient person however and didn't even lose my cool when on the second day of driving lessons she drove right into the front porch of a house causing about 5 grand in damage to my pickup.

Of course dealing with getting her visa and working with our government did require a lot of patience.

Funny but I feel I know a lot of the old time members pretty well but hardly know who some of the newer ones are.

If I am an expert it is because I made more mistakes than most and used that for a learning experience.

Hello All!,

Just a quick update and to ask a question. My fiancé and I are getting along just fine and while she is still in Moscow, we stay in touch via Skype and email. I have found a local Orthodox church, and met with the Father/Priest to discuss the process and church's terms of the service and marriage. The brief of that is that they want you to have a civil service first then the marriage in the church so there is never any question of the validity of the ceremony from a legal point of view. The only requirement is that both parties be of Christian faith, you agree your children will be raised in the Orthodox church and the date of the service has to conform to the church calendar for allowed wedding days.

So now we are looking into the most economical way to bring her most important belonging to the US. No furniture or electronics, but many of her personal possessions and family heirlooms.

Any suggestions for the cartage of these personal items?

I noticed that the airline, when you are a passenger will take additional baggage or boxes that collectively are over the weight limit for a single bag at an additional cost. It seems like this is waaaaaay less expensive then sending packages by mail which seems to be outrageously expensive. And there is also air-freight also available through the airlines but I have not checked into this.