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 Post subject: Are Russian men so Bad?
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 15 Jan 2011 18:07 
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Are Russian men really so Bad?


Dating sites, marriage agencies, and many of the Russian-speaking women tell stories about the unsatisfactory behaviour of Russian (also Ukrainian, etc.) men as husbands.

The leading complaints are alcoholism and infidelity. I will add to this list, abandonment after baby arrives. I personally have heard this from several women and appear to happen very often.

I just found an article, about the casual attitude of Russian men toward adultery (THEIR adultery of course, not necessarily their wives').
What Men Talk About.............

http://www.slate.com/id/2276071

If you take time to read the comments from Russians and foreigners who live or have lived in Russia, you will see that they range from general agreement to strong criticism. Making generalizations about millions of people is a big mistake and a silly behaviour!

Reading this article, I saw an interesting picture emerging and one confirmed by at least some of the commentators. Those Russian husbands who have mistresses, rather than being ashamed or secretive about it, are quite open, and not at all bothered that their wives know their infidelity. More than that, philandering not only lacks stigma, it is actually a badge of male status! According to this picture, a man with ONLY a wife but no mistress is less than successful. One commentator talks about of a man she knows who is faithful to his wife, and she is worried that men look down upon him for it.

These stories are important, because they are one part of the answer to the question;
"Why is she willing to consider married life to a foreign man, in a foreign land?"

Those answers are important, because we wonder whether the main motivation could be economic/lifestyle (which could leave us as discarded stepping-stones on the way to her life in some land of milk and honey).

In this and other forums, men sometimes debate whether such stories about the Russian men are accurate, with us foreign men taking positions on both sides. Some say the story is true, others that it is a myth, or greatly exaggerated.

There's a view about Russian men that those who make the best husbands marry young and stay married. Because of this women who are single or divorced past their mid to late 20s have dim and fading prospects for finding a GOOD husband.

When we discuss such topics, I usually say, it doesn't much matter what the objective truth is but what matters is WHAT WOMEN BELIEVE. Truth is that even if these beliefs are mistaken, they will guide women's thinking and choices.


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 Post subject: Re: Are Russian men so Bad?
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 16 Jan 2011 01:19 
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Early on in my FSU travels then I thought the bad press FSUM get was agency hype. Having now become an 'expert' on yet another subject (FSU wife seeking) I have now realised the agencies are right and I was wrong.

Just a recent example although I appreciate that this on its own means nothing. Over the New Year I went on a 'date' with a lady I knew and after dinner she wanted to take me to meet her sister and her brother in law who were at some karaoke bar. Her sister was very nice, her husband was a complete idiot and treated her like sh1t (he was drunk but that's no excuse). I thought at the time "is that the best you can get"? I kept my mouth shut but the next day I met my date again and the stories she told me kind of confirmed what I originally thought.

Because I have dated a lot of ladies then I have heard a lot of 'stories'. There does seem to be a constant theme to them.

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 Post subject: Re: Are Russian men so Bad?
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 16 Jan 2011 12:06 
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When reacting to the story on another board, what I pointed out was that the main difference is not in male behaviour (as I am fully convinced that the adult industry in the West does not live on unmarried men), but in the ability to laugh about it openly.

I am sure the guy got a nice greeting when it happened [bat.gif] however it has now turned in to a comic story. In countries with a more feministic approach, this story would be deposited at a lawyer for later use and kept as a blackmail in case of need.

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