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 Post subject: QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER
Post Number:#1  PostPosted: 24 Jan 2011 21:51 
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QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER


Why doesn't Tarzan have a beard when he lives in the jungle without a razor?

Why do we press harder on a remote control when we know the batteries are flat?

Why do banks charge a fee on 'insufficient funds' when they know there is not enough?

Why do Kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Whose idea was it to put an 'S' in the word 'lisp'?

What is the speed of darkness?

Why is it that people say they 'slept like a baby' when babies wake up every two hours?

Are there specially reserved parking spaces for 'normal' people at the Special Olympics?

If the temperature is zero outside today and it's going to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold will it be?

Do married people live longer than single ones or does it only seem longer?

How is it that we put man on the moon before we figured out it would be a good idea to put wheels on luggage?

Why do people pay to go up tall buildings and then put money in binoculars to look at things on the ground?


Did you ever stop and wonder......

Who was the first person to look at a cow and say, 'I think I'll squeeze
these pink dangly things here, and drink whatever comes out?'

Who was the first person to say, 'See that chicken there... I'm gonna eat the next thing that comes outta it's bum.'

Why do toasters always have a setting so high that could burn the toast to a horrible crisp, which no decent human being would eat?

Why is there a light in the fridge and not in the freezer?

Why do people point to their wrist when asking for the time, but don't point to their bum when they ask where the bathroom is?

Why does your Obstetrician, Gynaecologist leave the room when you get undressed if they are going to look up there anyway?

Why does Goofy stand erect while Pluto remains on all fours? They're both dogs !

If quizzes are quizzical, what are tests?

If corn oil is made from corn, and vegetable oil is made from vegetables, then what is baby oil made from?

If electricity comes from electrons, does morality come from morons?

Why do the Alphabet song and Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star have the same tune?

Stop singing and read on......

Do illiterate people get the full effect of Alphabet Soup?

Did you ever notice that when you blow in a dog's face, he gets mad at you, but when you take him on a car ride, he sticks his head out the window?

Does pushing the elevator button more than once make it arrive faster?


[cheer.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER
Post Number:#2  PostPosted: 24 Jan 2011 22:04 
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You can not go up on a stairway that goes down, yet most houses have only one...

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 Post subject: Re: QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER
Post Number:#3  PostPosted: 12 Feb 2011 01:58 
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While my job doesn't involve any interview I always hold out hope for getting one some day. I'd sit and wait for the Q , '' Do you see the glass as half empty, or half full?'
I'd answer , " well that depends on when the glass was first filled. If it was empty and they filled it half way, than it woulf be half full. If it was full, but now is half , than it would be half empty. [biggrin.gif] Not sure how that answer would go over, but shit, I'd sure like to try!


can't say shit yet eh Wiz? [rolleyes.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER
Post Number:#4  PostPosted: 12 Feb 2011 07:21 
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Donhollio wrote:
can't say shit yet eh Wiz? [rolleyes.gif]


You just did........ and nobody is going to kiss your mouth because ... you smell! [lol.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER
Post Number:#5  PostPosted: 12 Feb 2011 15:17 
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[bad.gif] eww.

I think we're mostly grown up enough to deal with the word being typed. Glad you fixed that Wizard! [thanks.gif]

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 Post subject: Re: QUESTIONS YOU JUST CAN'T ANSWER
Post Number:#6  PostPosted: 12 Feb 2011 17:38 
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Donhollio wrote:
[bad.gif] eww.

I think we're mostly grown up enough to deal with the word being typed. Glad you fixed that Wizard! [thanks.gif]

Just don't use it that often as I am going to put Pepper in your mouth! [sarcastic.gif]

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