I traveled to see a lovely woman in Nizhny Novgorod 4 weeks ago now. She met me at Moscow and we traveled back to NN by train.
From the Sunday night arrival through to the Friday early evening, everything was really good. We got on so well and did everything together. That all changed Friday night... and here is where the mistakes took shape as per the notes here. Here are the mistakes not to make, seriously, if you go over there:-

1: DON'T GET SO DRUNK YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER ANYTHING:-

I don't know what happened, we went out Friday evening after a superb week where she had even started the process of getting a visa to visit England. We went out and she wanted to drink a little Wine. 2 Bottles later and I had polished off most of the wine. The rest of the evening was a blur.
Suffice to say, the next day it was like being with a completely different woman. Before it had all felt comfortable, but on the Saturday it felt awkward.

2: REMOVE ALL DETAILS OF ANY OTHER WOMAN, EVEN FRIENDS FROM SKYPE CHAT OR WHATSAPP ON YOUR PHONE:

Only after I returned to England did she send me an explanation. She had seen ladies names in skype and was wondering why I was chatting with them as well as her. If she had spoken to me while I was there I would have explained 2 of them were lifelong friends and the other three I had not spoken to since I started talking to this lady.

So, seriously, these 2 points ruined was was a perfect week, until that point and has now ruined what would have been a good union. And, as one last add on, it leaves you with the horrible empty feeling knowing that, in reality, only you yourself ruined it.

There ends the lesson I hope.

Apologies, I didn't explain point 2 properly.

Removing any woman's name...

From my experience with chatting another Russian lady, they appear to be very jealous of any female competition, friend or not. I say to remove the names as a precaution even if they are friends, because, in reality, the time you spend with them is like a first date and that can quickly be ruined by the lady thinking something is happening when in fact it is not.

It is my experience that once a Russian Woman has decided you are not right (even with just one mistake) there appears to be no chance of talking about it to rectify the issue (only because it was a first date, I expect if it was the third or fourth visit then it may be different), then you are very quickly removed from any Skype, Chat or form of communicating with them. Maybe it is the culture, but as men we tend to chat to 2 or 3 women initially and then decide on one. So what I am saying is don't forget to remove conversations with other women.

So, it is a warning if you really like the Woman.

Hello and to the board.

Well, you did not bothered reading around the board before going over to meet your friend and failed for two classical mistakes.

First of all, Russian women don't like men getting drunk, they have plenty around and that is one of reasons for looking abroad for a partner.

Her behaviour, with western standards was not good, checking your mobile or ipad, without your permission. Her suspicions understandable but she has no right to check your Mobile.

If I was you, I would ask her, how many men she was talking at the same time, when chatting with you?

Are you sure she is not talking to others, at the same time??

After that you can try explaining her, if these women were past girlfriend candidates, or most importantly friends from the past, then she should not be worried.

When you visited her for first time, you showed her your commitment to get to know her first....if at the same time you had not arranged other meetings.

Russian women, like most women are jealous and due to high competition for a good prospective partner, when they find one, show a lot of possessiveness and will fight their corner to make sure no other woman will steal their catch!

I was suspicious also at the beginning but then realised that while my husband had many opportunities to find a partner here, he choose me.....and made a huge effort before getting married and started living together in the UK.

He has various female friend with whom he is talking frequently, has introduced me to all of them...... including his ex wife and all family. Seven years down the line.... we are still together.

I don't care, if that keeps him happy but I know he always comes home for food, as he has better cook at home

Well, read around the board and you may find plenty of useful advise..... and good luck.

Thank you Hanna.

I had refused to drink all week so should have also for the last night. I do know for a fact that she stopped speaking to other men once we had made our intentions clear. The main problem is that I was so drunk I can't remember what I said or did. I know that is not good so, combine that with her "seeing" other ladies in skype (I do not think she looked through my phone, I probably laid it on the table with the skype app opened, but cannot remember).

I am not looking through rose tinted glasses, she did everything she promised. She let me stay with her for the week after the first two nights in the Hotel (she stayed in the hotel with me on the second night - even after the Friday night) but I knew all was not well, when on the Friday we were like lovers (I say no more) and on the Saturday she did not want to get close. You can even see it in the photo's... Friday, arms wrapped around me and Saturday, leaning away from me.

I cannot turn the clock back and wanted to warn others as she is the first woman in a long time I actually "connected" with.

Thank you though for your advice for the future. I still cannot work out why I had to drink the wine as I don't actually drink much, maybe two pints every couple of weeks. maybe that was the problem.... too much too quick....

I am looking at visiting someone in a couple of months time and will learn, but there is not the connection I had with the first lady so am currently unsure...

By the way Hanna, congratulations with the union you and your husband have, it is nice to see :)

Sorry, that last remark makes it sound like I am moving from one woman to another, it is not meant that way, which is why I am unsure. I have told this Lady of my feelings that I still have and what happened (I will not lie or hide anything from anyone), and am hoping that my feelings towards this lady will get stronger during the two months, but just do not know....

And the first Lady has already moved on and is talking to someone else, so there is no point even going there.... not that I can contact her anyway except through whatsapp...

Hello adgwytc and sorry to hear the bad news

1. Where did you meet and how long have you been talking with her before going over to meet her?

2. Where does she live in Russia pls?

3. What she is doing for living and has she ever asked you for any kind of money?

4. Was it a hotel you stayed or an apartment?

5. Am I to understand for the whole week she stayed with you at the hotel and you became intimate on the second night?

5. What is your name, age and what kind of work you do, BTW?

Sorry asking you all these questions but obviously need more information to make any comments.

As Hanna already told you, look around the board and read variouse subjects to learn more and be prepared .... next time.

Hi Wiz, thanks for the response, here is some information...

1. Where did you meet and how long have you been talking with her before going over to meet her?

I guess you mean which website... I met her on Elenas Models. We were e-mailing for about 3 days and then exchanged skype and whatsapp details. I made the decision to fly out and meet her three weeks in, but we talked every single day for at least 3 hours, seriously. I felt very comfortable with her.

2. Where does she live in Russia pls?

She lives in Nizhny Novgorod. She got the train to Domodedovo and met me there and we traveled back to NN by Train.

3. What she is doing for living and has she ever asked you for any kind of money?

She has a very good job in an Oil company. She never asked me for money. I would never send money anyway and made sure I did lot's of checks online on the e-mail and name. In fact, she actually offered to pay for things but I would not let her for restaurants and trains as I believe it is my responsibility as the man.

4. Was it a hotel you stayed or an apartment?

I stayed at "Marins Park Hotel" for the first 2 nights and then she asked me to stay at her apartment as she felt more comfortable there.

5. Am I to understand for the whole week she stayed with you at the hotel and you became intimate on the second night?

This is going to sound strange, but you know when you just "Connect" with someone, where everything is very comfortable and feels right, both your head and your heart feels it? This is how it was with this woman. I had spoken to other women but never had this connection. So, yes, things moved quickly and she stayed in the hotel on the Monday night and we then stayed at her's Tuesday through to the Sunday morning. And yes, we were intimate on the Second night..

5. What is your name, age and what kind of work you do, BTW?

My name is Clive and. funnily enough, my age changed today from 49 to 50 (Not great news - lol ). I am an IT Security Consultant / Architect - I work mainly as a contractor and am currently contracting for AT&T.

No need to be sorry for asking the questions Wiz, it's a natural thing to do.
Yes, I have had a good look around now, although, in all honesty, as I said, she was the perfect host who did all she promised, cooked for me, made breakfast, went shopping (although I obviously went with her).... romantic evenings in.... and she was the sweetest woman, very caring and loving.... and, yes, we learn from mistakes. She is gone and I must now move on as well.

Thanks Wiz.... :)

Hi Clive

Nice to hear from you so quickly, while I was taking Hanna to terminal 5, for her flight back to Rodina, to see mama.

So far I have not seen something that was out of normal, apart from the 2 bottles and the classical mistake not to have a password...... on your phone, when near a new woman!

Obviously these girls have more men that they talk but if everything was hotting up so quickly I just wonder, why she moved on so fast?

All of us make mistakes........I made plenty of them till we clicked....and till I married her, despite that I was open and honest to her, deep inside I was not sure how she would react, when crunch time will come and she would have to make the big decision???

Lucky she did made it!

Well all I have to say... is wish you luck, next time round.

Meanwhile.....cheer up and



All the best

Yannis


PS: Any chance to add some image in your avatar?

Hi Wiz,

Thanks for the reply.

Yes, I do know what you mean about moving on quickly. But, from talking to another Russian lady, who is the one I am thinking of seeing, I asked her directly about talking with other women, she told me she would not like it. I guess the mistake I made was leaving the conversation on Skype so it looked like I was still talking to them. The new Lady stated she would do the same..... mind you, I suppose I would not be too happy if I saw men on theirs that I "Assumed" she was talking to, but the difference is I would have spoken about it.

There is also the fact that she had a child of 7. Her dad was a drunk and her husband was a drunk.... so all in, I messed it up massively by being drunk

But yes, I will learn for next time.

Hope Hanna got her flight okay....

I will add an Avatar Wiz... :)

Thank you again :)

These small idiocincracies were not the reason for her to dismiss you as she has, there was something else, which only she or you can know, this was only the excuse in my opinion..
Yes, Russian women don't like alcoholics, but you didn't show yourself up as being one..
Yes, Russian women are well gifted with the "Green Dragon" of jealousy, but a few women on skype or any other system would not normally be a reason....
There was something else..............and used the excuses...
Maybe she just felt that there was no real future together for you both...
Anyway, thats only my opinion, and good luck in the future...