I hope everyone is doing well. Happy Father's Day to all the father's here. I had an interesting experience last night, so I wanted to give a full report here, for the entertainment purposes of the other members.

So I met a 25 year old girl from Siberia, let's call her "A", on Rambler. She has been living in the D.C. area for 2 years. We have been chatting for a few weeks and agreed to meet Saturday night. She lives about thirty miles from me, and we met at a restaurant about halfway in between our two locations. A is very attractive and was very nice in chats, but I had some reservations about her.

For one, A seemed like a party girl. She often referenced how she had partied last weekend, was planning to party next weekend or was thinking about partying, etc. :) This is not the type of girl I would like a long term relationship with. Granted, I'm only 27, but I feel those days of partying are over for me. Her fondness for partying was a red flag, for me, but I figured it was worth giving her a shot. Sometimes people represent themselves differently online and in person things are different. Plus, I figured that at the very least, it's good practice, since I am relatively young and inexperienced. Since I wasn't traveling to Siberia to meet her, I thought it was definitely worth it. So I drove to the restaurant we were meeting at and got our table.

At 8 she shows up. I gave her a hug when she got to my table. She was very cute and we sat down inside at the table I had reserved. The first thing she asked me was "do you smoke? Can we sit outside because I want to smoke." I said sure, but that there was a 45 minute wait for a table outside so we'd have to wait. I suggested we go outside to this small bar that was near a lake.

On the inside, I was groaning. Smoking is a HUGE negative for me, I really despise cigarettes and couldn't be in a long term relationship with a girl that smokes. I hope I don't offend any of the smokers here, but my personal preference is most definitely non-smoking. To A's credit, she is not a heavy smoker (or so she said) and is trying to quit.

So we are standing outside and chatting. A is a nice girl and the conversation isn't that bad, but to say that we are not exactly a perfect match would be an understatement :) Mostly I am asking her questions about her and she is talking about herself. She had stayed up until 4 am last night partying at a new club she discovered and had to get her roommate to pick her up because she had drank too much.

We chatted about family, travel, hobbies, etc. for about twenty minutes then A told me, seemingly out of nowhere, that she was married. "I didn't tell you that?" she asks me. "Ummm, no", I say :)

A says that she is getting a divorce and has been separated from her husband for a long time. Now, this is another red flag for me. She's 25 and is getting a divorce. Was she married just to stay in the U.S.? The circumstances of her divorce are unknown to me, but I still view the fact that she's 25 and getting a divorce as a red flag. Plus the fact that she was married and didn't tell me doesn't make me feel great about the situation, too.

At this point, I am thinking about running for the hills, but our table is now ready, and it's a very nice night out. I drove a decent way to meet her (thank God I didn't go to Siberia) :) and wanted to have some wine and relax. It's also an opportunity to learn, which is something I like to do. Our conversation was friendly, as before, but the chemistry wasn't there. Even if we had electric chemistry, the fact that she smokes and is MARRIED would cause me to hesitate severely with her.

So we sat outside talking and had some calamari for about thirty minutes. A was smiling and laughing and the conversation wasn't totally awkward. Mostly, she complained about this band that was playing outside. The band was really bad, so I joined in the complaining and we had fun with it. After another thirty minutes, I paid our tab. A asked me where I had parked and I parked about five blocks from her. I told her I would walk her to her car. It was late and very dark out. So I walked her, she thanked me for the night and we hugged at her car, then parted ways.

I wouldn't write her off over the divorce, she was under 25 when she married, and people do change and more importantly they grow. I would of asked why she was spliting from the guy, maybe he was a cheaper/ abusive????

Don,


She is still married. I didn't ask her why they were divorcing because, frankly, I wouldn't have necessarily believed her answer. For this and the other reasons I wrote about, she was definitely not a match for me.

Trust your instincts Brian. It's a sign of wisdom not to push a relationship where it shouldn't go.

She never said she smoked? I have heard of gals who do this thinking you'll never notice their breath, hair or clothing smell like an ashtray but never had one try it on me.

Ed,


I never asked her if she smoked or not before we met.

Right, understand she didn't "lie" to you, but didn't you find her on one of the social networking systems? Was smoking not a factor in whatever profiles they post?

Many in East Europe seem to feel westerners are "funny" on the smoking issue and I can remember co-eds swearing they didn't smoke when you could smell it on their sweaters and coats in wintertime. Sure conditions are more crowded over there and maybe some don't smoke but stand in areas where others do but these stories circulate enough to lend some truth to them.

I did have a client who was interviewing for a Personal Assistant who deliberately would leave his cigarettes outside the office, start the interview, excuse himself to get coffee about halfway through (offering them a cup as well), returning with the cigarettes, apologizing that he just "has" to have one, lighting up and offering them one. He claimed to have caught about half of his candidates lying about it until they saw him smoking and then telling him that they said no because they didn't know what he felt about it. He wouldn't hire them figuring they were opportunistic liars. The five candidates I put in front of him weren't among them (Thank Goodness!) and he eventually offered the job to one of the better gals provided.

Good question, I can't recall. We initially "met" on the Rambler network but then had been communicating via facebook.

Ah well, you'll find a better matchup I'm sure!

I must of missed that line...